The only Stephen King novel I ever read was Christine and I thought it was a good scare. Much better than the movie. I think the general opinion is that, apart from Kubrik's "the Shining", Stephen King has not fared too well on the big screen.
Fortunately for me, I had no idea that "Hearts in Atlantis" had anything to do with Stephen King. I was still in bed, convalescing with back pains, headache and hives and cruising up and down the strip of HBO stations when I landed on it. I'd remembered it coming out and I was aware that there was supposed to be a bit of hocus-pocus in it. What I found myself getting involved with was a fairly decent coming-of-age story that had, in its periphery, a story about psychics and the "low-men", a group of mysterious men driving around in shiny black sedans who for all the world could be the Men in Black of science fiction lore.
Although Anthony Hopkins has been saddled with countless (okay, four) efforts in the Hannibal Lector series, he's a great actor. My first awareness of him was as the ventriloquist Corky in the thriller "Magic". Throughout the movie he is both Corky and the voice of Fats, his possibly living dummy. In the final act, Fats, now in total control of Corky, has him barking, panting and running around the room like a dog. There are two distinct personalities on the screen but only one actor: Anthony Hopkins.
Mr. Hopkins has little to do in this movie but sit around, deliver lines, be a mysterious but gentle presence to the kids and occasionally get lost in catatonic immobility. All well and good, but the actor is so fine it's fun to listen to him be wise and odd in his mostly whisper of a voice.
The kids in the movie, Anton Yelchin and Mika Boorem (where was the casting done?), are fine for the most part delivering fairly understated roles.
I think I tend to get drawn into coming-of-age films because I was aware of the genre growing up (A Separate Peace, The Learning Tree, To Kill a Mockingbird, etc.)and throughout my adolescence I always looked for my literature-ready coming-of-age moment. By the time I hit thirty and I realized I was still looking for it, I came to the conclusion that if it had truly happened, it was insignificant enough that I would never remember it. Hence, I would never own that moment where I would look at an adult with newly opened eyes and say "I guess it's just like (insert title of coming-of-age book here)" whereupon said adult would recognize that I had just crossed over into early adulthood.
Anyway, Hope Davis as the Mom looks great in all her retro-fashions and Anthony Hopkins is probably the only actor since Richard Burton who could read the White Pages and have it be riveting.
Directed by Scott Hicks, I give Hearts in Atlantis 5 rootbeers and a moon-pie.
Thursday, August 25, 2005
SUSPECT ZERO (2004)
There are certain movies I know I will never rent, watch or even land on briefly while cruising for something to watch. In this category are HBO staples “Father of the Bride”, “Father of the Bride part II”, “Miss Congeniality” or anything with Dudley Moore.
I remember after the harrowing final 48 hours in London of our second tour with Colorblind James Experience-when there was the distinct possibility that some of us wouldn’t be able to get home-we finally all boarded the jet that would carry us stateside. As we were finding our seats I turned to Chuck and joked “wouldn’t it just be our luck if the in-flight movie was Arthur II?” I kid you not, the in-flight movie was Arthur II. We of course watched it without the headphones and created our own dialogue for it. Hilarity ensued.
So I’m in bed with some bizarre flu-like symptoms, body-aches, hives and what-not and cruising for something to watch. In these states it can’t be anything too heavy, nor can it be Father of the Bride or Arthur. HBO is also trying to foist Mad City, Down Periscope, My Antonia, Mad City in Spanish and Man of Fire on me. I don’t want to watch any of those…ever. So today’s choice, from the paucity of titles available on Movies on Demand, is…Suspect Zero? Beyond the Sea? Suspect Zero? Beyond the Sea? Suspect Zero it is. At least Ben Kingsley can act. And away we go…
Approximately two hours later:
My back and head still ache but the hives seem to have receded a bit. But now I have the memory of this film that I must purge from my system once and for all. I know I will feel better. I must feel better…
This movie features Aaron Eckhart and Carrie-Anne Moss as two uninteresting characters slowly revealing their uninteresting back stories. They are FBI agents, one of which, Agent Mackelwey (Eckhart), follows great big clues that Ben Kingsley leaves for him. Mackelwey is clearly tortured as evidenced by the massive amounts of aspirin he swallows throughout the film. He sighs heavily, turns lots of pages, reviews endless series of numbers and sifts through endless pictures and drawings. He bangs his fist on his desk and says things like “What does it mean?” and “Where are you?” and “What do you want from me?”
Suspect Zero is the name for Ben Kingsley’s concept of a serial killer who leaves no clues and follows no patterns. He’s been trained to ascertain clues using a technique known as remote viewing. Remote viewing is where you sit at a desk and listen to white noise until you’re in a trance-like state during which you stare blankly ahead, bang your left hand quickly on the desktop and scribble numbers, names and doodles of crimes that are occurring somewhere. Which is all well and good except that when he finds these killers, he kills them! And then he cuts their eyelids off! Get it? So they are always…seeing!
The only scenes that are even remotely interesting are those that feature Ben Kingsley in one of his patented flip-side-of-Gandhi roles. Aaron Eckhart is dull and weepy and Carrie-Anne Moss is a one-note actress. She will always be remembered in the same company as Julie Newmar and others who look especially fine in skin-tight shiny black leather. Unfortunately, there's no skin-tight shiny black leather to be found in Suspect Zero.
As a side note, I’m suspecting that Carrie-Anne Moss must be contractually obligated to forever appear in movies that feature her co-stars from the Matrix series. She and Joe Pantoliano both starred in Memento and here, her FBI boss is Harry Lennix (the hilariously stone-faced Commander Lock in parts 2 & 3), whose only point of interest is the black hole on his chin that seems to suck all the attention away from anything else happening on the screen.
Suspect Zero was directed by E. Elias Merhige who currently has nothing slated in his immediate future.
For all the clues scattered around this dull thriller, I give it only one retrieved corpse out of 100 missing-and-presumed-deads.
I remember after the harrowing final 48 hours in London of our second tour with Colorblind James Experience-when there was the distinct possibility that some of us wouldn’t be able to get home-we finally all boarded the jet that would carry us stateside. As we were finding our seats I turned to Chuck and joked “wouldn’t it just be our luck if the in-flight movie was Arthur II?” I kid you not, the in-flight movie was Arthur II. We of course watched it without the headphones and created our own dialogue for it. Hilarity ensued.
So I’m in bed with some bizarre flu-like symptoms, body-aches, hives and what-not and cruising for something to watch. In these states it can’t be anything too heavy, nor can it be Father of the Bride or Arthur. HBO is also trying to foist Mad City, Down Periscope, My Antonia, Mad City in Spanish and Man of Fire on me. I don’t want to watch any of those…ever. So today’s choice, from the paucity of titles available on Movies on Demand, is…Suspect Zero? Beyond the Sea? Suspect Zero? Beyond the Sea? Suspect Zero it is. At least Ben Kingsley can act. And away we go…
Approximately two hours later:
My back and head still ache but the hives seem to have receded a bit. But now I have the memory of this film that I must purge from my system once and for all. I know I will feel better. I must feel better…
This movie features Aaron Eckhart and Carrie-Anne Moss as two uninteresting characters slowly revealing their uninteresting back stories. They are FBI agents, one of which, Agent Mackelwey (Eckhart), follows great big clues that Ben Kingsley leaves for him. Mackelwey is clearly tortured as evidenced by the massive amounts of aspirin he swallows throughout the film. He sighs heavily, turns lots of pages, reviews endless series of numbers and sifts through endless pictures and drawings. He bangs his fist on his desk and says things like “What does it mean?” and “Where are you?” and “What do you want from me?”
Suspect Zero is the name for Ben Kingsley’s concept of a serial killer who leaves no clues and follows no patterns. He’s been trained to ascertain clues using a technique known as remote viewing. Remote viewing is where you sit at a desk and listen to white noise until you’re in a trance-like state during which you stare blankly ahead, bang your left hand quickly on the desktop and scribble numbers, names and doodles of crimes that are occurring somewhere. Which is all well and good except that when he finds these killers, he kills them! And then he cuts their eyelids off! Get it? So they are always…seeing!
The only scenes that are even remotely interesting are those that feature Ben Kingsley in one of his patented flip-side-of-Gandhi roles. Aaron Eckhart is dull and weepy and Carrie-Anne Moss is a one-note actress. She will always be remembered in the same company as Julie Newmar and others who look especially fine in skin-tight shiny black leather. Unfortunately, there's no skin-tight shiny black leather to be found in Suspect Zero.
As a side note, I’m suspecting that Carrie-Anne Moss must be contractually obligated to forever appear in movies that feature her co-stars from the Matrix series. She and Joe Pantoliano both starred in Memento and here, her FBI boss is Harry Lennix (the hilariously stone-faced Commander Lock in parts 2 & 3), whose only point of interest is the black hole on his chin that seems to suck all the attention away from anything else happening on the screen.
Suspect Zero was directed by E. Elias Merhige who currently has nothing slated in his immediate future.
For all the clues scattered around this dull thriller, I give it only one retrieved corpse out of 100 missing-and-presumed-deads.
Monday, August 22, 2005
BOOGEYMAN (2005)
The best thing about this frustratingly bad film is the opening sequence. It is almost identical to Monsters, Inc. in that it recreates the spooky twilight between wake and sleep when the mind of a child does all the dirty work of scaring. Things move and shift subtly: are they shadows? is it the boogeyman?
The greatest opportunity for making a movie about the incomprehensible and completely irrational fear of children is that, while the manisfestation isn't real, the fear itself is very real. Ultimately, what scares children/us is fear and not that which generates the fear. Dare I say "we have nothing to fear but..."?
Both movies make good and very similar use of the boy in bed with covers to his nose watching things 'move' around the room, hearing creaks, feeling the presence of something. Monsters, Inc. turns the lights on, shows us the monster and lets the pratfalls begin. Boogeyman turns on the lights, brings in the dad to comfort the son, and has him get sucked into the closet before the child's eyes.
What's great about Monsters, Inc. is that not only does it show the monsters, it creates their entire 'behind-the-scenes' universe and explains their need to scare children ('scream' is the fuel that Monstropolis runs on!). What's bad about Boogeyman is that it ultimately misses the point by...showing the monster.
It sets up an interesting premise by saying "let's see what happens when we put the irrational fears of a child into the mind of an adult." Then it ruins everythings by revealing that the fears are not irrational and that 'the boogeyman' is real. And not only real, protrayable with awful CGI effects.
We all need to pause and remember Halloween (1978) when Michael Meyers, the 'boogeyman', was a guy in a jump-suit, rubber-mask and a big knife. perfect.
Boogeyman can't say "Boo" louder than I can say "boo-hiss"
Directed by Stephen T. Kay, I give it 5 out of 10 bones and then I take back 4.
The greatest opportunity for making a movie about the incomprehensible and completely irrational fear of children is that, while the manisfestation isn't real, the fear itself is very real. Ultimately, what scares children/us is fear and not that which generates the fear. Dare I say "we have nothing to fear but..."?
Both movies make good and very similar use of the boy in bed with covers to his nose watching things 'move' around the room, hearing creaks, feeling the presence of something. Monsters, Inc. turns the lights on, shows us the monster and lets the pratfalls begin. Boogeyman turns on the lights, brings in the dad to comfort the son, and has him get sucked into the closet before the child's eyes.
What's great about Monsters, Inc. is that not only does it show the monsters, it creates their entire 'behind-the-scenes' universe and explains their need to scare children ('scream' is the fuel that Monstropolis runs on!). What's bad about Boogeyman is that it ultimately misses the point by...showing the monster.
It sets up an interesting premise by saying "let's see what happens when we put the irrational fears of a child into the mind of an adult." Then it ruins everythings by revealing that the fears are not irrational and that 'the boogeyman' is real. And not only real, protrayable with awful CGI effects.
We all need to pause and remember Halloween (1978) when Michael Meyers, the 'boogeyman', was a guy in a jump-suit, rubber-mask and a big knife. perfect.
Boogeyman can't say "Boo" louder than I can say "boo-hiss"
Directed by Stephen T. Kay, I give it 5 out of 10 bones and then I take back 4.
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
TERMINATOR 3 (2003)
The one thing I love about having HBO is that I can usually count on some night in the week turning to it and finding either “Terminator 3” or “Something’s Gotta Give”. It seems like you can depend on being able to watch the movies no one really wants to see. And my reaction is usually “Jesus Christ! Terminator 3 again? What the fuck!” and then like a lamb to the slaughterhouse I bleat pitifully and watch it anyway. At least I’ve stuck to my guns and refused to watch “Something’s Gotta Give”. Jack Nicholson needs to retire and Diane Keaton cannot nor has she ever been able to act her way out of the proverbial paper bag.
This being said, there I was watching Terminator 3 on HBO one more time. The one thing I really think this movie has going for it is the sound effect used every time either Terminator or Mega-babe Terminator gets walloped. It’s the same sound as when Wyle E. Coyote’s head comes in contact with a wrecking ball. Clearly Peter Brown, the sound effects engineer, was on to something. He must have been certain the concept for the movie was a fusion of modern action films and the Road Runner cartoons of the 50’s.
I mean really, what’s the difference? For most of its 109 minutes, the Terminators take turns bashing each other around and just like Wyle E. they get back up virtually unscathed and carry on. The only thing missing are the large ACME signs on all the weaponry: ACME Terminator Eradicator.
In all fairness the movie actually pulls off a pretty amazing feat by avoiding the disaster-averted ending. The concept that Connor’s fate couldn’t be changed but merely postponed is downright Calvinistic.
But really, Nick Stahl? There doesn’t seem to be any connection between his John Connor and Edward Furlong’s from T-2. At no point, the ending included, does his character ever appear capable of becoming the grizzled scarred soldier alluded to in the previous films. Love him or hate him, Furlong’s Connor could have led the resistance before reaching puberty.
Perhaps they should have gotten Jack Nicholson. Maybe he’ll be asked to do “Something’s Gotta Terminate”.
Directed by Jonathan Mostow who previously had directed U-571, one of my guilty pleasures. HBO never shows it.
Uncle Phil gives Terminator 3 three out 12,000 feather dusters. And a pie in the face to California's governor. You voted for him so...ride it out, baby!
This being said, there I was watching Terminator 3 on HBO one more time. The one thing I really think this movie has going for it is the sound effect used every time either Terminator or Mega-babe Terminator gets walloped. It’s the same sound as when Wyle E. Coyote’s head comes in contact with a wrecking ball. Clearly Peter Brown, the sound effects engineer, was on to something. He must have been certain the concept for the movie was a fusion of modern action films and the Road Runner cartoons of the 50’s.
I mean really, what’s the difference? For most of its 109 minutes, the Terminators take turns bashing each other around and just like Wyle E. they get back up virtually unscathed and carry on. The only thing missing are the large ACME signs on all the weaponry: ACME Terminator Eradicator.
In all fairness the movie actually pulls off a pretty amazing feat by avoiding the disaster-averted ending. The concept that Connor’s fate couldn’t be changed but merely postponed is downright Calvinistic.
But really, Nick Stahl? There doesn’t seem to be any connection between his John Connor and Edward Furlong’s from T-2. At no point, the ending included, does his character ever appear capable of becoming the grizzled scarred soldier alluded to in the previous films. Love him or hate him, Furlong’s Connor could have led the resistance before reaching puberty.
Perhaps they should have gotten Jack Nicholson. Maybe he’ll be asked to do “Something’s Gotta Terminate”.
Directed by Jonathan Mostow who previously had directed U-571, one of my guilty pleasures. HBO never shows it.
Uncle Phil gives Terminator 3 three out 12,000 feather dusters. And a pie in the face to California's governor. You voted for him so...ride it out, baby!
Monday, August 15, 2005
GODZILLA VS. MECHAGODZILLA (1974)
This is a great movie to watch especially in the company of a four-year-old who's crazy about dinosaurs, robots, monsters and of course, Godzilla. For starters it has Anguirus, an ankylosaurus (a guy in a rubber suit walking on his knees! excellent!), Mechagodzilla (his fingers and toes are rockets! How cool is that?), Godzilla (in full good-guy mode) and King Ceaser, or Seesar, who, although he's supposed to look like a traditional Japanese dragon/god looks for all the world like a cross between Tinky-Winky and Lassie...Let's get ready to rumble!
The coolest thing about King Seesar is that this battle was prophecized long ago. Once his mountaintop home is opened up with sunlight bouncing off the little King Seesar action figure statue, he needs to be woken up! His awakening occurs when a priestess runs down to the beach and sings a great song (with full orchestration behind her) entitled "Wake Up, King Seesar!". OK, I'm not sure if that's the correct translation or not but that sure is what she's saying, I bet!
Well, if that's not enough, there are space-aliens! Space-Aliens! Look out! And there has never been a more evil silver-suited space-alien then the cigar-chomping head of the space-aliens hell-bent on destroying the human race using Mechagodzilla as a W.O.D.! ("You see? Godzilla is no match for our Mechagodzilla! Hee-hee-hee-ha!") If you're still not ready to run out and rent this 1974 masterpiece, dig this: whenever a space-alien is hurt, shot or killed, they revert to their original silver-suited gorilla-masked selves! YOW! Now I haven't quite figured this out as I don't know much about this space-alien race, but they don't necessarily revert entirely to ape-like status. Just the part or parts that get hurt! Man, this is some intense science-fiction stuff!
Anyway, even cooler than all this, during the battle between Godzilla, King Seesar (ruff! ruff!) and Mechagodzilla, Godzilla becomes...magnetic and, using powers not seen since the Russian watch-turners, he is able to pull Mechagodzilla back until he can rip that sonofabitches space-alien mecha-head off his body. *whew*
Godzilla Vs. Mechagodzilla (Gojira Tai Mechagojira) directed by Jun Fukuta is a rocking good time! ("It's really just a guy in rubber suit, Daddy!")
I give it...2 twenty foot thumbs up!
The coolest thing about King Seesar is that this battle was prophecized long ago. Once his mountaintop home is opened up with sunlight bouncing off the little King Seesar action figure statue, he needs to be woken up! His awakening occurs when a priestess runs down to the beach and sings a great song (with full orchestration behind her) entitled "Wake Up, King Seesar!". OK, I'm not sure if that's the correct translation or not but that sure is what she's saying, I bet!
Well, if that's not enough, there are space-aliens! Space-Aliens! Look out! And there has never been a more evil silver-suited space-alien then the cigar-chomping head of the space-aliens hell-bent on destroying the human race using Mechagodzilla as a W.O.D.! ("You see? Godzilla is no match for our Mechagodzilla! Hee-hee-hee-ha!") If you're still not ready to run out and rent this 1974 masterpiece, dig this: whenever a space-alien is hurt, shot or killed, they revert to their original silver-suited gorilla-masked selves! YOW! Now I haven't quite figured this out as I don't know much about this space-alien race, but they don't necessarily revert entirely to ape-like status. Just the part or parts that get hurt! Man, this is some intense science-fiction stuff!
Anyway, even cooler than all this, during the battle between Godzilla, King Seesar (ruff! ruff!) and Mechagodzilla, Godzilla becomes...magnetic and, using powers not seen since the Russian watch-turners, he is able to pull Mechagodzilla back until he can rip that sonofabitches space-alien mecha-head off his body. *whew*
Godzilla Vs. Mechagodzilla (Gojira Tai Mechagojira) directed by Jun Fukuta is a rocking good time! ("It's really just a guy in rubber suit, Daddy!")
I give it...2 twenty foot thumbs up!
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