GODZILLA VS. MEGALON (1973)

If you had been lucky enough or depending on your disposition had had the great misfortune to enter a discussion about movies with the late Colorblind James, ne James Charles Cuminale, you would have learned that he regarded movies in general as junk worthy of less praise than aluminum siding. That is, of course, until the discussion steared itself towards the works of Fellini, Kurosawa, "Morgan", "Putney Swope", "The Life and Times of Judge Roy Bean" and anything else that seemed for whatever reason to transcend the form and constraints inherent in a flawed medium. The flaw had apparently more to do with the public's certainty that film was the new art and that the level of importance imparted to it by critics and fans was somehow deserved. To Chuck it was all junk but the occasional flower bloomed amid the wrecks and detritus rusting in the backlot.

Which brings me of course to this discussion of Jun Fukada's arguable masterpiece Godzilla vs. Megalon. As I'm writing this, my wife is dozing gently having opted to watch Star Wars Episode 3 over my suggestion of Shaun of the Dead, a sort of George Romero take on The Full Monty. As the sound of light saber battles and bleeping droids rolls on behind my laptop screen, I can't help but wonder, Just what is "Junk"? Are there different degrees of junk ranging from good junk to bad junk?

I've admittedly watched my fare share of junk recently having slogged my way through Wolf Creek, Saw 2, Hostel, Three...Extremes, Just Before Dawn, Oldboy, the pathetic remake of Texas Chainsaw Massacre, etc. And then, interspersed throughout, were the odd gems The Iron Giant, Donnie Darko, and even the Kill Bills, I and II. And while they may very well have stirred a positive response in me, they quite likely have and will continue to wind up on someone's list of all-time worst movies. Ultimately, I guess, to each his/her own.

Star Wars Episode 3 bores me with its cutting edge technology. It's blue screen marvels and CGI wizardry can't hide horrendous acting and humourless storytelling. Godzilla vs. Megalon is downright exhilirating in its incompetence. The fight sequences are comparable only to the inevitable collisions of all four Teletubbies on any viewing of the that spectacular work of art.

Megalon is a giant beetle released from Seatopia to avenge mankind's atomic weapon's testing in the Pacific. Jet Jaguar is a pre-Power Ranger robot built for good but winding up under the control of the Seatopians. Gigan is enlisted by the baddies once Jet Jaguar a) reestablishes a positive working relationship with the good guys and b) he quadruples in size at the mere push of a button. Godzilla, well, that's another story. Apparently, this movie introduced a new rubber suit and, gosh darn it, this has to be the cutest Godzilla of the entire Showa series.

It's crap. Pure, unadulerated trash. But it didn't cost a gazillion dollars to make like any one of the Star Wars franchise entries did. And they are, IMHO, pure, unadulterated trash. Junk. I guess we all pick our poisons, don't we? Ultimately? I just happen to enjoy mine with a dash of humility. In the time that it takes Star Wars Episode 3's final credits to roll, I could have listened to the awesome "Jet Jaguar Theme" a dozen times. It will wind up on my next CD. Oh yes...it will. Meanwhile, Chuck would roll his eyes and suddenly the conversation would have returned to Melville.

Well here we very well are now, aren't we?

Directed by Jun Fukuda, I give this very serious cinematic essay on the foibles of man's attempt to harness and control the giant monsters and robots of the earth a very strong blast of atomic breath right up Mr. Lucas' butt.